Ok so I am not usually a Foxworthy fan but this was too funny and too true not to share!
You might be a school employee if......you believe the playground should be equipped with Ritalin salt lick
...you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off
...it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered
...you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail
...anything!!! Without ever looking outside...you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card
...you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
...when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior
...you have no social life between August and June
...you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce
...you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce
...you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."
...you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district
...you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form
...you can't imaging how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public
...meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
...you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference
...you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!!!
...the words "I have college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth
As the weeks wind down until Margie gets here, my cleaning adrenalin has kicked in. These days I feel like I see dirt every where. Today, it bugged me to the point that I couldn't stop counting down the moments until the school bell rang so I could scrub my kitchen. This morning as I was fixing breakfast I noticed that the trays under the eyes of the stove were looking rough. So I pulled them out and attempted to make them sparkly again. But it didn't seem to matter how much scrub free Oxy I poured on them or for that how hard I scrubbed...there was no sparkle to be found. Heck there was nothing but a black mess! That says something. I swear by Dawn Oxy and Scrub Free Oxy. Unti
l today I have never found a stain that Oxy could not wipe away in 10 second or less. Seriously, if you haven't tried it then go now. You will never have to scrub a pot again. Now seeing that in this case Oxy didn't come through, or maybe I should say get through, I did what any determined clean freak would do... I ditched the trays for new ones and sprayed down the rest of the kitchen with Oxy. After several hours and several hundred Clorox wipes, my kitchen is now sparkling clean literally in every nook and cranny. I even cleaned the inside of the candle sitting on the stove. Now I feel one step closer to being ready for Margie to come home ( in 9 weeks or less) and for house guest to come oh and ah over her :) In the mean time, I am planning on occupying my time by doing some heavy duty cleaning in the dinning room!
